Hello again!

And welcome to another dev log. In this log I wanted to talk about risk. For whatever reason, whenever I come across a new indy dev, my nosey self wants to know how they are funded. What life did they come from and what are they doing now? Are they moonlighting? A hobbyist? How are they supporting this endeavor? 

In this blog I will tell all when it comes to financials, and share some feelings regarding risk. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Who even am I?

Well I'm Michael Feldman. I'm a game designer. Though this was not always the case. From summer of 2019 to November of 2021, I was freelancing, doing Unity stuff. Before that I was also doing unity stuff, full time, for a year. In neither of these roles was I doing design. Just development.

You may be thinking, whoa, this guy must have saved up the big bucks after working doing Unity for 3 years... Incorrect! I have saved up about enough for 6 months worth of living and development + 2 months of emergency scramble for a job money.

At this point, I've put everything on the line and I'm giving this project my all with the goal of learning as much about game design as I can, and making what some might call, a good game.

I'm aiming to make something big, but not too big. I'd like to make a splash in the puzzle platformer / adventure game space. I estimate it will take about 1.5 years to do this with the first 6 months devoted to building up something that wins investment dollars.

Naturally there is a big risk that the game does not secure those dollars, and thus a risk analysis takes place.

Risk Analysis

Here are the key components to a risk assessment according to my friend Chris:

• Risk: What do you have to lose in the decision. This could be money, health, sanity, relationships, or other physical belongings.
• Reward: What do you have to gain in the decision.
• Probability of success: What are the odds that this risk will pay off
• Cost: What is the cost if the decision turns south? For example, if one runs out of money developing a game, the personal cost could mean, having to search for jobs again.

In my case the probability of success is low, but the cost of failure isn't too huge. I don't have kids or a house. I am in decent health (knock on wood), and so if the project doesn't get funded, the cost is basically to figure out a new job, and decide whether or not to continue developing Avian Brain. Others don't necessarily suffer, or risk their own well being. The risk is fairly contained.

The reward  is essentially that I get to continue the journey of learning, and potentially find a career path that works for me and fosters the passion I have for game development. 

In this case the reward is sufficiently high, and the cost is sufficiently low, given the low probability of success. There's some way this could be formulated mathematically, but I leave that to the reader.

Emotional Risk and Confrontation

Though I've written about financial risk, emotional risks are also real. This type of endeavor is very emotional, and either way the cookie crumbles, I think it's important to make some emotional preparations, for what it's worth.

"Because the sage always confronts difficulties, he never experiences them." - Tao Te Ching

Below are my responses / preparations for both challenges.

If funding falls through:

• I know I gave it my all. Sometimes it is better to try and fail, than to not try at all.
• I learned a lot. The outcome of my pitches will have no effect on the learning that I've acquired, the books that I've read, or the connections I've made.
• I had fun, and enjoyed the process. The outcome of my pitches will have no affect on the great fun and experience I've had up to and including this moment. I'll have these memories forever.
• I still have other things that make me happy. Friends, walking, food, etc.
• My next job should in some way foster the fire. Failure is expected, the flame should not go out over a gust of wind.

If funding comes in:

• One success is no guarantee: Getting funding is really just an obstacle in the larger path. Even though it feels like a large one, I must remember it is one of many.
• Family comes first: if I succeed at the game, but fail at my relationships, then this is not a viable career path. I must be conscious that this entire game is an evaluative period. I'm sort of testing the waters to see if this is something I'd like to / and be able to do a second time around. Part of a healthy career, includes a healthy family.
• This is an exploration, an adventure: nothing is set in stone. Should I find that this path is not for me for whatever reason, it is ok to step down, so long as that falls within the legal bounds of any contract I sign.
• Follow the fun: just like I want my players to experience a flow state while in the game, I as the developer should maintain a sense of flow during development. If I find that the development is too easy or too challenging, I may need to re-evaluate. The process should be fun. Fun is part of a healthy career.

Unsolicited Advice

I think the biggest thing that has carried me to this point, and through tremendous fire and flame is a support network. My family is on my side, and understanding of the risk, though it was not easy to get them on board in the beginning. I have a few friends who help just by being friends. I can bounce ideas, get feedback, or just talk about stuff other than the game.

Also finding a community of gamers and game developers is invaluable. Whether that's a local IGDA chapter, friends from game jams, or folks one meets in a coffee shop, there is strength in community.